


Two steps back, one step forward

by venom_for_free



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: After the Divorce, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27862158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_for_free/pseuds/venom_for_free
Summary: It doesn't shatter right away. Or maybe it does. Maybe things shattered long ago and were held together by the packing tape of strong will and frustration, a purpose and a task for the longest time. Yakov can't tell when he watches Lilia leave, a suitcase trailing behind her. Flawlessly. Everything about her is flawless. Even the way she leaves. She doesn't turn back, doesn't have to. There's nothing for her to look at anymore.__or: A short story with snippets of Yakov's relationship with Lilia after their divorce.
Relationships: Lilia Baranovskaya/Yakov Feltsman
Comments: 18
Kudos: 24





	Two steps back, one step forward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ScribblesInTheMargins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribblesInTheMargins/gifts), [JaMills](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaMills/gifts).



> Hi, hello, I know this is not my usual content.  
> If you still decide to read, I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> A while ago I made an awesome friend who is very much into rare pairs.  
> A not that long while ago, I "acquired" a reader who writes the most amazing comments and told me they like Liliakov. 
> 
> Sometimes inspiration is in the happiness of others.  
> Thank you for making my days a little brighter, I hope so does this for you.

It doesn't shatter right away. Or maybe it does. Maybe things shattered long ago and were held together by the packing tape of strong will and frustration, a purpose and a task for the longest time. Yakov can't tell when he watches Lilia leave, a suitcase trailing behind her. Flawlessly. Everything about her is flawless. Even the way she leaves. She doesn't turn back, doesn't have to. There's nothing for her to look at anymore. 

\----------- 

It's harder when Viktor leaves. Yakov never expected much from his skaters. Or did he? Probably. But he expected excellence on the ice, not character-wise. He knew from the start his golden group wouldn't win any prize money for kindness and gentleness towards him. But when the boy he raised like his own son jumps up and gets on the first plane without looking back, Yakov has to admit it's hard. 

\-----------

His second emotional adoptee leaves soon after and Yakov can't sleep for a while. He wants to be filled with rage and anger, but all that is there is pain, and then, emptiness. And vodka. 

Mila and Georgi are patient. They don't say anything during training the next day, even though Yakov is sure they can see it in his step, smell it on his breath. At last, some of 'his children' show sympathy. 

\------------

When Yuri comes back, it's better and worse at the same time. Yakov is less alone, figuratively. But Viktor is gone. The bundle in his arms is crying and he doesn't know what to do with the child that isn't his. Would it have changed anything if Lilia and he eventually had the kid they talked about? First a lot, then less and less, as time went by? He can't be sure. It doesn't matter. Yuri in his arms needs his full attention, so Yakov holds him. 

The next morning, he sends the child back onto the ice with a drill hard enough to break even Nikiforov. But there's a fire in the green embers. Fire Yakov hasn't seen before. Except in a mirror. A long time ago. 

Flames he can't rekindle.

Or can he? 

An idea blossoms. 

\----------- 

The call goes through to the inbox three times before she picks up, just to tell him off and hang up again. Anger in her voice. Or resentment? Sadness? Yakov isn't good with emotions. Has never been, but he didn't need it with her. She was always closed off, too. 

They both married their work. It just so happened they also married each other. But then, Lilia stopped dancing altogether and Yakov kept coaching, and only when the cracks between them were too large did he realize they were there at all. 

Maybe, just maybe … 

He doesn't know if he's calling again on Yuri's behalf or his own. 

\------------ 

She doesn't pick up on any of his attempts after this. But Lilia calls him back almost immediately once he stops ringing her. 

Yakov should have known. She never operated on the terms of others. 

\------------

They make an appointment. Nothing stable. Nothing long term. Lilia just wants to look at Yuri. She stayed out of Yakov’s skating business and he turned away from her dancing. Maybe that is where they went wrong. Maybe they shouldn't have split their lives in the middle, should have invested a bit more into one another, should have tried harder. 

Lilia comes over, true to her word. She's gorgeous. Always was gorgeous. Always will be. Sure, she's much older now, but so is he. She loved him through his hair loss. Maybe she can love him again. 

\------------

For once, just once, Yuri Plisetskys is compliant. He's doing better than a racehorse wanting to be sold. Presents himself, doesn't even bite when she inspects his teeth. It's ridiculous. It's perfect. Yakov swears he owes this boy something. 

\-----------

Lilia decides they are to move in with her. For Yuri's training. Of course, just for Yuri's training. She wasn't interested in figure skating. Never in her entire life. But there is a prima on her doorstep and Yakov knows she can't turn him away. Lilia loves challenges as much as Yuri does. And they are a dangerous combination. But the power. Oh, the power. Yakov follows them blindly. 

\-----------

He gets his own room. The former guest bedroom. He's a guest in the house he paid for, together with her. But who is he kidding? He's grateful. Grateful enough to ignore the newly added "Baranovskaya" on the doorbell. Maybe one day, it'll say "Feltsman" again. 

\----------- 

Yuri succeeds in competition after competition, small and large ones. What a home with a bed he can call his does to a boy. And healthy meals. And bedtime routines. And on-demand training. Looking back, Yuri came incredibly far on his own. But he doesn't have to anymore. 

Sometimes, Lilia smiles at them both, now. 

\-----------

She loves that damn cat a little too much. Was she lonely after they got divorced? Sometimes, when she thinks no one can see it, she gazes at Yuri all too softly. Maybe, like Yakov, Lilia ponders what her beloved career stole from her.

\------------

Yakov hates baking. Always did. But with something close to a family, it's okay. Bearable. Maybe, if he's honest with himself, it's enjoyable. Until the cat rolls through the flour. 

\----------- 

Somehow, their boy wins gold. After breaking a record in his short skate. At fifteen, for his first senior competition. Lilia takes Yakov's hand when the cameras are off. It's fleeting, but it's there. 

\----------- 

The exhibition is appropriately named. It's madness. It's ridiculous. It would be laughable if it wasn't so scandalous. The media outrage will be devastating. But Yuri is vibrant. Happy. And Yakov knows, behind the hand clasped over her mouth, Lilia is hiding a smile, too. He would have to scold the boy, maybe get loud, so it's believable. But for the moment, he indulges in hidden grins. 

\------------ 

After Worlds, neither of them mention the dorms or Yakov's empty flat. During the off-season, they stay in the house he paid for. With her. 

\----------

When Yuri goes to Kazakhstan, off to romance the boy far away, it's different from when Viktor left. Yakov isn't alone anymore. He can watch his 'son' leave because he knows the kid will return. In time. 

And until then … Yuri doesn't need to know that Lilia asked him to return to the bedroom. 

**Author's Note:**

> > Thank you, as always, to my wonderful editor [Taedae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taedae/pseuds/Taedae), and to you as the reader.  
> I'm also on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/venom-for-free)[, Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/venom_for_free/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/venom_for_free)


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